Weekly World News' parallel universe

PARALLEL UNIVERSE DISCOVERED
. . . Where Bill Clinton Is A Celibate Priest!

"I've created a device I call the Multi-Dimensional Revealer (MDR). Using a combination of sound and light at high frequencies, directed through a prism at certain intervals, I can open a small hole into the dimension that sits right beside our own on the universal roulette wheel."

We asked Dr. Ternet for a demonstration.

"You will be forced to change preconceived ideas about people and events," he warned.

We watched, astounded, as Dr. Ternet carefully chose latitudes and longitudes on the neighboring Earth -- called Earth B -- and showed us shocking sights:

•Bill Clinton was a celibate priest.
•George Bush was a college professor.
•A balding Donald Trump worked as a cashier in a pet shop.
•Paris Hilton ran a soup kitchen in the Third World.
•Britney Spears was a singer.

Among some of the political and cultural differences we saw on Earth B:
•The new Star Wars movie was good.
•Marijuana was legal but coffee was not.
•Iraq was our 51st state.
•Mexico possessed weapons of mass destruction.
•Weekly World News was on every library shelf and quoted on evening news programs.